


Once Upon a Time in Manchester City

by eafay70



Series: A Very Merry "Advent" Calendar [22]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, Fairy Tale Elements, Family, Liverpool F.C., M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 06:20:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8962300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eafay70/pseuds/eafay70
Summary: Joe Hart's adorable son Harlow can't sleep, so Joe tells him a story about Uncles James and David.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [myblueworld](https://archiveofourown.org/users/myblueworld/gifts).



> I couldn't find James' kids' names via Google, and I couldn't figure out how Joe would be babysitting Chloe, and I really wanted to use Joe! I think Harlow is about two years old now, but I'm not good at writing toddlers, so he seems younger...sorry!
> 
> Yes, I am looking to write more stories along these lines. Suggestions welcome!

Joe was beginning to suspect that Harlow wasn't meant to eat Italian food every day, because the little one seemed incapable of sleeping through the night in Torino. Once again, father and son were reluctantly awake at midnight.  
"I dreamed that there was a loaf of French toast yelling at Cristiano Ronaldo," explained Harlow. "And Cris Jr. was being yelled at by a croissant."  
"The croissant must be patriotic," mused Joe.  
"Can you tell me a story?" requested Harlow.  
"OK." Joe glanced around Harlow's bedroom and noticed a picture of James's dogs on the nightstand. "I've just the right story."

_Once upon a time, in a lovely country full of very lovely people, there lived a stocky prince who traveled the land accompanied by two very friendly beasts and helping those in need. The prince was beloved by all because he could perform difficult tasks such as stamping out forest fires and lifting houses out of flooded areas. And the very friendly beasts could heal any illness by licking the sick person, or by letting the sick person hug them or pet them. The prince learned important skills wherever he went: he learned how to make things beautiful from a peacock who lived with a white cat, he learned how to dance from a robin, he learned how to get up after falling from a magpie, and he learned how to drink wine from a lion. But he learned the most from the blue moon aliens._

"What's a blue moon alien?" asked Harlow.  
"An alien from the planet Blue Moon, of course."

_You see, the blue moon aliens wanted to make sure that nobody ever felt alone, and that everyone had a love of their own. So they invited princes who loved football to play with them, and this included the prince with the very friendly beasts. That same year, there was also a prince -_

"Who had a big heart?" suggested Harlow. "Get it?"  
"Yes, I get it," laughed Joe. "That prince was there, too, but he's not really in the story."

_The same year that the prince with the very friendly beasts arrived, a prince with magical powers of warmth and sunlight also arrived. This prince could also fly thanks to years of studying with a bat, hit any target thanks to some time as a sharpshooter, and how to win any physical battle thanks to some time in the sky with a group of wrestling giants. The blue moon aliens noticed that this prince played well with the very friendly beasts, probably because they knew they couldn't really hurt him, and that he often looked after them while their prince was elsewhere. So they decided to do some matchmaking, and the very friendly beasts were happy to help._

"Why?"  
"The very friendly beasts agreed with the blue moon aliens that nobody should ever feel alone, and everyone should have a love of their own."

_And so, on a seemingly normal day, the blue moon aliens mixed sneezing powder into the breakfast of the prince who owned the very friendly beasts. When the prince started sneezing, the very friendly beasts started to whine unhappily, as per the plan. The sunlight prince heard the very friendly beasts and came running. When he saw the other prince sneezing, the sunlight prince used his magical powers to warm him, thinking that it was a cold. It wasn't, of course, so the sunlight prince flew with the sneezing prince to the medical staff, who gave the sneezing prince a potion that made him sleep; they were in on the plan, too, since they could see that the princes would make a lovely pair. The sunlight prince flew back to the very friendly beasts and played with them for some time before he convinced them to follow him to their prince so they could lick him well. They complied, but they also shoved the sunlight prince so that he fell on top of their prince. Everyone present started to laugh, and for reasons that nobody has ever understood, the princes kissed while they laughed. And even though the very friendly beasts and their prince had to go help a mighty red bird at a certain point while the sunlight prince stayed with the blue moon aliens, the princes remained in love. And they all lived happily ever after._

Harlow was finally asleep. Joe kissed the boy's forehead and returned to his bedroom, impressed with the number of characters he had created for the story.

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by the song "Once Upon a Time in New York City" from "Oliver and Company."
> 
> Nightmare inspired by the following:  
> -"Hala Madrid" is what _madridistas_ say in support of Real Madrid.  
>  -Challah is thick bread we Jews eat at least weekly.  
> -Here in the eastern U.S., French toast in diners is almost always made with challah.


End file.
